Reflecting on the Pain

Ok, so two days is a decent amount of time to take the sting out of a brutal loss like we had on Sunday. Or it should be. But I think the reason this loss still leaves a bad taste in our collective mouth is not just because we lost. Nay, it is because we got our asses handed to us on national television. That one always stings.

But not just that. Compound it with the fact that for two weeks in a row, our weaknesses have been broadcast to the league. We can't stop the run. We can't protect our quarterback. We can't stop getting arrested.

But I've always had faith in Marvin, and I should have faith in him now.

Nevetheless, my thoughts:

Our Defense Kind of Sucks Right Now
There, I said it. You've been thinking it, and I went ahead and said it. This is basically the same team as last year with an extra 350 pound has-been in the middle of the line. David Pollack never did that much for me, but Odell Thurman was an absolute stud last year. Yet because of his off the field bullshit, he's done for the year. What are we left with? Well, we had a shiny new CFL player, but now he's bruised up also. Ok, so we're left with one of the worst D lines in the NFL, an aging CB who can't keep up with 75% of the wideouts in the league, and a SS who moonlights as a stunt double for Keanu Reaves.

Worried? You bet your ass I am.

The obvious question is this: Can they play better? I'd like to hope so. So then the other question comes: How, pray tell, do they do that, dummy?

You do something drastic. Something sweeping. I'm speaking, of course, of switching to the 3-4 defense.

Now granted, this plan would've worked a lot better when we had talented, fast linebackers bulging from our pockets. But can it get any worse than giving up 236 rushing yards? Thinking back to Sunday's game, I don't remember the Patriots running it that much between the tackles, but they had a field day running it outside. Since our D line isn't going to pressure anyone because of their inherent suckitude, why not trade one of them straight up for an extra linebacker?

Just a thought, Marvin. Email me if you want to hash out the details.

Our Offensive Line Kind of Sucks Right Now
Another one from the Mr. Obvious department. I still can't believe that Rich Braham meant that much to this line. Palmer was so effective last year because we gave him the time to work his magic. But Palmer can't be any better than Aaron Brooks if you don't give him time to throw the goddamn ball.

Unfortunately, there's no quick fix for this one. Reports are saying Braham may have a broken foot, and thus not be coming back for some time. So my boy Eric Ghiaciuc had better step up to the mic.

This Bye Week Couldn't Have Come at a Better Time
A week of reflection of things that could have been. I had a feeling we were taking the Patriots too lightly, but I don't think Marvin and co. will make the same mistake again. Nothing sucks worse than losing at home. The Patriots did the football equivalent of pulling down the Bengals pants in front of our mom. How embarrassing? Very embarrassing. The kind of embarrassing that kind of lingers for a few years. But mom is strong, and I think she can deal with it. Ok, I lost myself on that one.

Obviously, we have to mix it up for our next game against the Bucs. Some trick plays would be nice. I wouldn't mind seeing the old Statue of Liberty play we used to bust out at the playground, Marv. Surprise me. Enthrall me. Just win the damned games, ok?

Seriously, Michael Lewis Rocks
His book, The Blind Side, officially came out yesterday, and it would behoove us as a society to go pick this one up. Just a great read. Like all his books, this one sounds boring on the surface, but once you get a few pages in, I double dog dare you to try not to finish the thing in one day. Yes, it's that good.

As always, WHO DEY?