Everyone Relax

Before every season, you get the usual sportswriters making sometimes bold predictions about the upcoming season. I can't remember a time when any of these predictions actually came to fruition, but I'll admit they're still fun to read. But I've found that even more bold predictions usually surface about now -- sometime around Week 2 or 3 of the NFL season.

So it has come to pass. If you listen to any of these clowns, you'll have already saved Super Bowl slots for Atlanta and Baltimore. But you know what? Slow down, big guy. This is a long season, no one knows a damn thing yet. So what do we know?

The Ravens Aren't This Good
Yes, they have a top-five defense, and the addition of Steve McNair means their offense is no longer anemic. And yes, they beat up on their first two opponents. But who were those two opponents?
The Oakland Raiders and the Tampa Bay Bucs. We all know the Raiders suck, but I'd argue that the Bucs aren't much better. Chris Simms is NOT a good quarterback, and on days when Cadillac can't get it going, the Bucs don't have a lot of offensive weapons. Combine that with the fact that they've lost almost all of their star defensive players, and I would be amazed if they won 8 games this year.
The Ravens are definitely a much improved team, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Last I checked, they still have to play the Steelers and the Bengals twice. I'd be very very surprised if they made the playoffs this year.

The Miami Dolphins Suck
Great Super Bowl pick, Sports Illustrated. The Dolphins eked out a 9-7 record last year because of a decent defense and an easy schedule. This year? Not so much. Tough schedule (Colts, Patriots twice, Jags, Bears), crummy offense, and their D isn't showing the spark it had last year. And as I mentioned before, Daunte Culpepper is, at best, a league average quarterback right now.
Just another case of everyone drinking the Kool Aid. I had a sip, and it tasted like shit.

The Denver Broncos Aren't This Bad
Yes, Plummer has looked terrible. And the running game, long a staple of the Broncos offense, has been struggling. But this is still a team that has proven itself to be a contender year after year. I predict that Plummer will eventually snap out of his funk and return to his 2005 form. I could be wrong, but last Sunday when I was watching the game, it looked like he was re-growing his evil cyborg beard. I think this is a fantastic idea. Not only did the beard improve his passer rating by about 30 points, it also made me extremely jealous because my own facial hair just can't live up to it.
I expect big things from this team against the Pats this Sunday. Brady & Co. have looked very beatable in the past few weeks, and methinks Denver feels they have something to prove after last week's televised abortion against the Chiefs. Yeah, they won, but they picked up a squadron of naysayers in the process.

The Cincinnati Bengals Are Legit
And no one seems to care. This is when being a small market team sucks. Even when you're playing excellent football, the sports pundits would still rather talk about the Cowboys, the Dolphins, or even the fucking Jets. Paraphrasing Marvin Lewis for a minute, I actually do like it when no one is paying attention to us. Everyone loves an underdog, especially me. And while two bit hacks like DJ Gallo are spewing about the Mannings and whether or not Rex Grossman is the second coming of Christ, we'll keep putting up W's.

I'm still a little worried about the loss of Dexter Jackson, but I am very optimistic about the Bengals chances this year. Just think for a second: We've beat two teams without TJ Houshmanzadeh. When he comes back (hopefully this week), Palmer will have yet another target to accumulate insane stats with.

As my man Ted Dibiase says, Who Dey?